LovePrints. A grandmother's love. Great women raise great people.

Great women raise great men. A loveprint has staying power. It travels well. It has depth and value. It exists in parts of the soul that is deeper than memories, and, is able to appear and re-appear at the most perfect of times. It is the healer of pain, the remover of scars, and the new layer of skin that allows us to move on, forward and up.

I have detailed my search for facts, my want of details, and a more complete knowledge of self. As the search moves forward and up in several directions, what I am finding out is that no matter what facts are added, no matter what memories are ahead, the loveprints that cover me and walk with me are clear to me. The value of love shared with me can not really be measured, so I want to use this vehicle to tell the stories, share the stories, and maybe someone will decide to look within themselves and find some love on them and in them that might have been forgotten. Maybe, someone will read this and have it reach a loveprint of their own. It might even move them to reach out to a loved one with appreciation and thanks.

Big love can come in small packages. I have often said that I refuse to live in fear. That is because I have learned that most things feared have some power and value to you if you stand firmly and look closely at it. The fear that I once had is now respect. The one person that I feared in the world became the person that I respect the most. She was big in persona, and she was the most formidable force that I have ever witnessed on this earth. She could make miracles happen, she could make me taller, she could change any room that she walked in, and if you asked my siblings and relatives, she could walk on water. Her smile was the ultimate compliment, standard, and authority. It had the power to erase doubt, add happiness, and confirm goodness.

My grandmother, Hattie Sue Harris, shared the same birthday with me, and it was a common point of discussion for us. When I was having one of my better days, I was her 51^st birthday present. When I was resisting her love, I was her aging her faster than she wanted. She was the family matriarch, and with   people in the family, she was the tip top of all things. My grandfather would not waver to many, but he had a clear understanding of who really was in charge. She was powerful, forceful, strong, and stable. She was constant and consistent. She was the pillar. And I never knew that she was short until much later in life.

She was Big Mama, the ultimate woman, the superhero, the therapist, and soother of souls, and the worlds best cook. She was everything. I think all of us kids knew this back then, even if we never said it to one another in words. We knew the sets of rules. Behavior and our grandmothers house, and our behavior anywhere else (which included the knowledge that any such behavior would get back to her, so you better watch your step at her house or anywhere else!).

Her house was the center of the family universe. It was always full of life and love, and was the usual meeting place for family branches from all over. Any given weekend, there would be relatives from DC< Maryland, New Jersey, Philly, etc.  gathered there. I know I am describing many G-Ma’s, Mimi’s, Nana’s, etc. , and that is my point. I did not recognize then that I was included in the blessing. I did not realize that this was why she was there. This was a greater good. Not everyone had a version of this. Many did not have her excellence as a standard.

The house smelled like love. It sounded like love. I knew what love was. THIS WAS IT. I knew that I would be love, and loved there. I had a big family and extended family. It was joyful. There were young people playing outside (we would NEVER play inside) the grown ups were inside or at the picnic table out back. There was my great uncle spinning the hits from in my mind, the greatest collection of music in the entire world. We kids knew the day was turning up when he began doing his little dance in the basement. (A collection that was hands off!)

When I said the house smelled like love, love smells like hours of preparation, care, and joy. It came from a kitchen where cakes, pies, the worlds best fried chicken, greens, ham, fish, and more were always ready for anyone who dared announce their hunger. There was a grill outside just in case my uncle decided to fire it up and crush some burgers and hot dogs in between hands of cards. And let me tell you, these card games were epic. Marathons of talking smack, laughing at one another, and reestablishing a pecking order just beneath Hattie Sue. She was always the tops.

The house was always immaculate. From the yard to the steps and everywhere inside. Even as she cooked, it was in order. Each room had its own energy, and each one demanded respect. Sundays were filled with gospel on the stereo, and words of wisdom and love from Hattie Sue. She could put words together, let me tell you. I do not remember her ever cursing, but she did not have to. To this day, I can see the look in her eyes, the curling of the lips, and a stare that said PLEASE CONSIDER YOUR NEXT WORDS AND ACTION YOUNG MAN! It was the moment that I feared. I did not ever want to return to it. I did not want to be around it. So, I tasked myself to never repeat whatever behavior would bring it.

I got to live with her for a bit in my teens. My school bus stop was right across from her house, and it worked. As one of eight kids, any time I could get one on one attention and lover, I took it. She settled me down, lifted me up, built up my spirit and my soul, and made me better. Every day. Every single day. She gave me chores, she gave me smiles, and she gave me goals. She gave me a way. She gave me an example. She gave me a North Star. She was the way.

She gave us a home. We all had houses, but she was HOME. I pay attention to what people run to and away from. She was the magnetic force for good. She was the lead dancer, even when she was sitting down. Her ability to demand that you show her your best still walks with me. Her decision to smile at you was epic. Her desire for goodness for us all was her force each day. She gave of herself because she knew that she had much to give. More importantly, she gave herself. She gave you time. She gave you wisdom. She gave you nutrition. She gave you Hattie.

I never feared again. Not anyone. She taught me that love is often tough, it is often loud, it is often challenging. I learned that love is not determined by the size of the person, but the depth of their intent. She gave me rules to love by, steps to take, and a way to be better at all of it. She taught me that faith is the voice of love, and that it is the voice in your head that guides you to do right. She taught me that anyone that cooks for you, cares. That you should focus on doing good, often. She taught me that short in size didn’t matter nearly as much as the size of heart. She loved me enough to tell me what I needed to know instead of what I wanted to hear. She told me the truth.

She walks and talks with me daily. I hear her voice. I hear her laughter. I see her smile. I remember that look. I will never forget her love.

Thank you for being the example of love in action, and action in love.

I thought of you today, I love you out loud. I need to write this now so that it is in the air forever.

You deserve that.

Thank you.

LovePrints. There can only be one "Pops". A Thanksgiving thank you.

There can only be one “Pop”.

Some of you know that I am in the process of finding out who my DNA family is, and it has been such an emotionally exhausting task that I decided to journal as progress happens. Along the way, certain parts of my history are brought to the front of my memories, to the front of my heart. I will soon know for a fact who my father is, what my name should have been, where my forefathers came from, and what names do they possess. In no way is this journey meant to disrespect anyone, as it is a fact-finding journey, and facts matter.

To say that I do not know who this person is may be confusing. There are people who loved me then and now who earned their place in my heart and memories. There are those who came and went, and those who stayed. The is but one “Pops”. No one will ever take his place or fill his shoes. In the season and spirit of thanks, I am choosing to simple pay tribute properly.

What do you say to a person who came into your life and changed it for the better?

Thank you.

A LovePrint is love in action. An action in love. It is the covering of those your care about in so much love that nothing else can stick. It is the canvasing of people in your circle of so much adoration that they take it into their world and do the same thing. One act at a time, in love.

Roland Thomas Morgan came into my life around the age of 11 or so for me. I remember not being overly impressed initially, but I had no reason to not give him a chance. I asked my favorite question:

” Who are you?”

He told me that I should introduce myself first before asking such a thing, and that led to a conversation of two bullheads, one age 11, and the other, a grown man. What happened was a mutual respect club of two, as he promised to be decent, and I promised to do the same, We would agree on was that we both wanted my mother happy, and after was agreed upon, we would be able to reach agreement on most other things.

My mother raised me and taught me how to be a good person. Pops taught me how to be a man. I can only speak for myself on this, and recognize that he had his flaws and imperfections. What I can say is this, he lifted me up in ways that still stick with me to this day. He challenged me, he inspired me, he gave me directions, a helping hand, and love.

He was my personal driver, from school, from practice, from games, and from work. In those minutes and hours, he showed me the world. He fed my dreams, he plotted my successes, he gave me the soundtrack to my youth, and he gave me a reason to believe in the good in people. He changed my taste in food, he introduced me to style, embraced our differences, and told me stories about the war. He explained life before integration, set boundaries for life after, and prepared me for whatever was coming next.

He took my curiosity of sports and fed it like I needed it to survive. My love for boxing was passed from his lips to my soul with stories of Jack Johnson, Cassius Clay, Floyd Patterson, Sonny Liston, Rocky Marciano, Jake LaMotta, and his favorite, Joe Louis. If you ever wanted to see a smile that could light up the sky, ask Pop about Joe Louis. The pitch of his voice would raise from the deep bass as he described meeting Louis after he fought Schmeling the second fight. He would laugh in this disco club style bass speaker pound when talking about the differences between Ted Williams and Willie Mays. The Splendid Splinter was his guy. He would chuckle whenever he asked me to lock Williams swing and run to first base.

He is responsible for my love of music. He would drive us around DC, Maryland, and Virginia with a car full of 8 tracks that included Barry White, Eddie Kendricks, Marvin Gaye, Otis Redding, and Sam Cooke. But his guy was Teddy Pendergrass. My goodness! He would let me choose the artist, and then spent time telling me where they were from, why that mattered, why it sounded the way that it did, and I can’t hear those artists today without smiling and hearing him sing above their music. He drove me to the Cater Barron Theatre to listen to the Dells, Impressions, and the Staples sing during a sound check before their show that night.

He thought he could dance. He really did. He was the prototype of the old black guy trying to dance to this new fangled hippity hoppity music in the early 80’s. but finally came around when he could recite the chorus to Rappers Delight. He also introduced me to Redd Foxx, Moms Mabley, Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, and this new cat named Richard Pryor, who had albums that I could only listen to when no one else was home.

He used to take me shopping for clothes because THE LADIES LOVE A MAN IN TIGHT CLOTHES! I knew that not all men were created equally whenever he rocked his open chest shirts. Everything looked good on the man.

He taught me to know my way around the kitchen and laundry room. NO WOMAN WANTS A MAN WHO WEARS DIRTY CLOTHES. And, making his bed should be a mans first task in his day. He handled clothes inspections each morning before school, that line from the iron should make the crease sharp on the jeans. Anything else is unacceptable.

He would give my team uniforms the once over as well. Making sure that I had the right black polish or spray paint for the Black Knights Football helmet painting on the back porch the Friday nights before Saturday games. Clean those cleats as well! Make sure that the converse leather was clean. And straight into the laundry post game. He made sure they were set out the night before school. No last-minute chaos, young man.

He would ask me to breakdance. He wanted to understand. He wanted to understand the need for a beer bong. He would sneak to watch me play, masking fear that I somehow wasn’t proud of him, or that he wouldn’t fit in with the majority of white parents at games. But he was ALWAYS there. He knew about injuries before I could tell him. He would always look for my homework. I WAS WIRED TO USE MY BRAIN AND NOT LABOR.

He could build anything by hand. I was horribly disappointing at it. He still patiently worked with me. He got me a paper route that turned into three. He got me a summer job clearing rooftops and houses, which to this day is the hardest thing I have ever done. I couldn’t wait for two a day practices to start so that I wouldn’t have to kill myself with him on these roofs.

He would check in at work. Always. And he never offered advice openly. He managed to weave the conversation to lesson points without ever letting on that he was teaching me. And, he was happy to help.

He was the voice in my ear on dates, and he was undefeated in picking out keepers. He spotted Beckie early, and even gave her the nickname Bex. I still use it today, some 35 years later. If I dated you more than once, he cosigned you. If not, well, he didn’t. He was protective in the best way possible. He wanted the best for me.

He is also the reason I do not like guns. I never felt threatened, but he had one in the house for work, and I hated it. He was loved Johnny Walker Black, and Johnny Walker Red for the holidays. He never got me to meet him halfway with pig’s feet, chitterlings, or pickled eggs. He took me to Baltimore to see the Orioles after the Senators left town, and to see the Colts and Always Hurt Burt Jones! He did all of this because he wanted to, not because he had to. He did all of this when the person who could have, didn’t.

He did all of this until the day he died. He never wavered in his love for me, or those I loved. He never once said that I couldn’t. I never forget the day that he threw down the gauntlet and challenged me to a fight since I had been spending those hours in the basement lifting those weights. He said I was ready. I was. I remember coming home from doing my first television show. The big 6’3, 240lb man cried. He said I impressed him. He said I was ready for the world.

He also cried the day I came home from Charlotte. He had gotten satellite tv so that he could watch his boy talk football in Carolina. He said that he knew that I talked funny for a reason! He had taped the shows and given them all to his friends to watch. And we celebrated in a way that many of you have shared with us. A shot of Johnny Walker Black.

It is with tears on my face that I type this. He deserves these tears. No matter what I find out from DNA, there will only be one and only POPS.

What do you say to someone who came into your life and made it better?

What do you say to someone who covered you in LovePrints?

Thanks, Pop.

Thanks.

LovePrints. When you grow up with your hero.

Great families make great people. Great people make great families. I have no shame in celebrating the good people in the world. It is easy to give compliments when they are the truth. When those people are constant and consistent, they deserve their story to be told. When they grow up in the same house, it makes it all that much more special.

My older brother (he smiles when I remind him that he will always be older) claimed the hero spot in my life at an early age. I watched him play football and run track as a young man, and then got to wait anxiously at home for him to return with his stories of the country. He introduced me to different ways to train, eat, pray, and win. He was everything that I wanted to be, and he shared the path. He was generous in sharing the importance of faith and education, integrity and character. And, I was in awe of how much awe he inspired in others.

I do not know who your heroes are, but I can tell you that I was blessed with a brother who was worthy of the title, and the responsibility. I carried the moniker "Little Bob" until I was old enough to make my own name matter. I appreciate having such a high standard to live up to, and with.

Well done, old man. Well done.

Getting to know: Robert E. Smith with Child Shield

Title: Executive with the local franchise of Child Shield USA, a company that offers family-focused services designed to keep children safe

Born: 1955, grew up in Arlington County

Education: Bachelor of arts in political science communications, 1977, David Lipscomb College in Nashville. (“I ran track for three years while in college and was named first team or second team All-American each year. At the end of my freshman year, I was invited to try out for the U.S. Olympic Team.”)

Career: Retired in 2010 from Philip Morris USA/Altria Group after 30 years. Positions held include warehouse supervisor, group supervisor in the warehouse, HIPAA privacy administrator and manager in the medical department.

In which part of the metro area do you live: Henrico County

Best business decision: “To always do that which is right, to treat others the way I want to be treated, and to put others first before self. I also learned that it is always best to be completely honest. That way, people know that you always tell the truth, which means they know they can believe what you have told them. Credibility is very important.”

Mistake you learned the most from: “When I was young, while running a race I was so far ahead of my competitors that I looked back to see where they were. Well, I fell and ended up rolling across the finish line. I did not win the race. I came in third place. I learned, don’t focus on what is behind you, keep your eyes on the goal, which is before you.

First job after college: “I sold life insurance.”

If you had to do it all over again, what would you do differently: “Work harder and smarter in elementary, middle and high school. The more you learn early in life helps you to be able to learn even more as you progress through life, and that applies to school, college, the work world and everyday life.”

Book that inspired you the most: “The book that has inspired me the most is ‘The Bible.’ God, who is our creator, has told us everything we need to know to be happy in this life and happy forever.

Favorite/least favorite subject in school: “Geometry, because I knew that I personally would never use it. My favorite subject in college was history, because I learned about the past and learned from the past.”

http://www.richmond.com/business/local/getting-to-know-robert-e-smith-with-child-shield/article_e611e6b4-edeb-57f1-9f74-5bb43ab7bfc4.html

The coach is playing their favorites. True story.

Great coaches tell the truth. The truth makes great coaches. Love out loud.

I am going to bust up a coaching myth. Long told story is that coaches do not give preferential treatment to any of their players. Some will say that good coaches will treat his best player and his worst player the same. The idea comes from the belief that team rules should apply to everyone. Let me put my two cents on the table.

It is not true.

Great coaches have something in common. The truth.  Any coach who has the freedom to tell his players the truth has the freedom to make coach them to greater. Any coach who wants the freedom to eliminate nonsense and chaos has to be able to tell the truth. Without that freedom, the coach will spend too much of his time dancing around egos, lies, distractions, and tears.

The truth is freedom to spend time wisely and honestly. The truth is the freedom to say things exactly as they are no matter who the people are who are involved in it. That freedom allows for my time to be spent on the task at hand. Making the players better, making the team better, and making the humans better.

Let me tell you about those favorite players. Ready? The are not always who you might think they would be. They are not always the best athlete, the best player, or the player with the parents who have the most money.

A coach’s favorite is the kid who he can tell the truth. The kid who wants to know what the coach needs for him to hear rather than what the player wants to hear. A favorite is the player who listens and hears. A favorite is a player who understands that truth is the greatest talent any player or coach can have. It allows so many good things to happen in the small window that is available to do so. The favorite allows the coach to TRUST.

Who does the coach trust? The player who is prepared. The player who is ready, The player who cares about what the coach cares about. The player committed to the team rather than themselves. The player who honors the process, respects the drill, appreciates the lessons, and actions accordingly. The player trusted is the player whose actions match his words. Trust is bestowed on the player who ignores chaos, defeats the distractions, and is undefeated against laziness.

When a coach knows that a player knows the plays, understands the plays, and will execute the plays, he gets trusted. When a coach knows that the player actions in character, efforts academically, is aware socially, and excels in the community, trust is the reward, and favoritism is earned. Not granted. Earned.

The same can be said for parents. See above. Honesty and trust play a big part in the inclusion and proximity of trust. The more the parent understands that time is given based on intent and action, the simpler the relationship becomes. And, more trusting.

So there you have it.. There are favorites. It is rarely about talent or size or stats. It is about TRUST. It is about honesty. It is about love. Care about the process, honor the process, and be true in it and to it, and favor will follow.

I am pretty sure that I just described most coach elected captains. They may not be the best players, but they are certainly at the front of the class and most likely to succeed. They probably will turn in to some pretty amazing coaches one day.

Action in love. Love in action.

Go.

LovePrints. Thank you. YOU!

Great sports are great people. Great people are great sports. Thank you makes it all better.

The idea of LovePrints is the covering of the planet in love. One person at a time. One act at a time. Love in action. Action in love. Love out loud. A constant message is loving and learning through sports. The games we play are a mirror to life away from the field, away from the court, away from the water, away from the net, away from the sticks, and away from the whistle. If we get this right, we can make them all better. We must.

It all starts at home. The parents and the family. The nuts and bolts to it all. The games do not matter without the core values of family. Love should start at home, be carried into the community, into the schools, into the places of faith, into the events, and into relationships. Teams are an accumulation of parents and families united, connected, and missioned. They mirror the people who work to get them in place, and if actioned in love, make a proud statement of who they all are. The parents and family should be the standard for love so that the athletes know what love is, know how to identify it and seek it out. It also gives them protection from the other thing. To the parents who work, cheer, show up, support, rally, lift, and love, THANK YOU.

It is passed on in love to the schools, communities, and teams. If done properly, there is a coach there in place who respects the love mission, and adds more love. The coach is there to cosign the family’s love, and enhance it, shine a light on it, and help it shine more brightly. The coach is there to cover the team in so much love that the players lift the family, lift up the school, lift up the team, and lift up the players themselves. The players should be so covered in love that nothing else can stick. The coach can do that, should do that, and must do that. As the love is shared, victories are won. Losses are learning experiences, and accomplishments are given value. Purpose is recognized. To all the coaches who put in the work, lift, elevate, effort, achieve, and love, THANK YOU.

The athletes must love what they do, why they do it, and how they do it. If love is the why, the how and what become irrelevant. Love of self, love of others, and love of the game can move the family and community forward and up. That should be the basis for all actions in the game. Does it take you forward, and up. That is where love is. Forward and up. If the athlete is loved at home, loved in the community, loved as a teammate, it is much easier for them to love themselves. Again, if they are so covered in love, nothing else can stick. Nothing else will stick. Nothing else will matter. To all of the athletes out there who love, and are loved, THANK YOU.

Community has the ability to make the athlete, the family, the team, and the planet a more loving place. It can make love the why, it can make love the how, it can make love the what, and it can make love the who. If the community is a place of love, love occupies the vacuum, and nothing else can. Community is the vacuum, and if we spend each day, each opportunity, loving, nothing else will stick. We may not be able to make the other thing exist, but we can make love the louder thing, the prouder thing, the more constant thing. We can make love the objective, and in that, we can direct love to and for everyone, including ourselves. To each of us in the community who love, purposefully, constantly, loudly, and continually, THANK YOU.

If you officiate the games, cheer at the games, clean up after the games, set up before the games, take care of the players during the games, work during the game, secure the games, announce the games, cover the games, watch the games, financially support the games, wear the colors at the game, nurse them back to health after the game, feed them for the games, direct traffic at the games, or simply applaud the games themselves, THANK YOU.

If no one has said thank you, I just did.

If you have not said thank you, do so now.

I say this…LOVE IN ACTION. ACTION IN LOVE. LOVE OUT LOUD.

GO!